Saturday, November 23, 2019

Dranas Mars, Private Investigator or The Weight of Loving and Losing

Stug rejoins the Tor'Ar army to check in on "work" and is offered a chance to participate in some leisurely torture by Lieutenant Cadaver. He gives details of where and when to meet him if he's interested. Tomorrow, NorthWest of camp. Dig a hole.

Daryl browses fresh noodle ale titties as he finds this small village in the wastelands to feel almost like it's own vast country when browsing it's inner workings, but eventually finds a book to read and some glowweed to help persuade Malo for more information.

Dranas bears gifts of cupcakes and platinum to the BrokeBack Orphanage and continues his research back at the Archives. There he finds the name "Kramen" of the forest who speaks of killing those who fail to bear a "mark". Conversations of those who bear a mark ring familiar to Dranas as he recalls his latest meeting with the ROD's repeated acquaintance, the Blind man and Babe. Curiously when Dranas asks around town and investigates several taverns; his presence could not be validated by anyone in the area, as if he went unseen by the rest of the public.

Daryl's search for answers in Malo find only Zeebo standing in Malo's doorway. Zeebo communicates that Malo is out with no definite time of return so Daryl resigns to awaiting his return there. They pass the time by reading Daryl's new book (which may possibly be homo-erotic due to a misunderstanding in the name) as Zeebo thoroughly burns some popcorn to enjoy. It's not long before Daryl's message stone calls him away. It's an emergency.

The Elvish army invaded the spider-caves. Delilah is dead.

MP3











Friday, November 8, 2019

Welcome Back, Malo or I Dream of Lich's

Reawakened, Malo is sad to hear that his old friend Gearsy has passed away due to wildly unforeseen circumstances. He explains to the ROD that the dots on the map they found were points of interest. Chances of great fortune, or great evil.

Daryl takes Malo on a Dragon ride and becomes very confused about who is and who is not riding him. he laughs hysterically into the night.
Volkorn wanders up to Malo's bar and discovers a secret cubby full of gems and diamonds.

Stug and Daryl go bear hunting and Stug keeps a carcass to fulfill a debt to Dranas. They then investigate a camp fire and meet the Ethereal Scouts, an elvish troop who had made camp for the night.

Volkorn studies books about song birds and transferring life into gems.
Dranas cooks and eats then reads his helacious cook book.

STOP Lich talk time.

Dranas turns up his nose at breakfast and cooks his own decadence-free monster quiche.

Everyone heads to the Archives of Nethys! Dranas begins his search for information on the Bob the Babayaga Swamp Bog Lich. Stug finalizes his application process while Daryl inquires about beginning his own. Daryl and Tommy Knocker hit it off as they admire Tommy's action figure collection together.

MP3










Saturday, October 26, 2019

The Dashing of Volkorns Ambition or The Return of Legacy


Hot off the heels of clearing a Torag dungeon,  Dranas collects 1000 silver from Clarence Dropbottom for the trouble. Clarence then leaves with plans of snuff and unconsciousness.
Dranas pays for the gang to stay at a nearby inn. Heal Checks abound as Stug makes immediate use of the Inn’s incidental policy when he rips up the flooring in order to sleep in the earth. Gaelic reunites with the ROD and catches up on information.

Daryl awakes near the remains of Cayden’s Beard, only rubble and ash are left. His first vision was of Ronda, wearing a UFA armband, tending to him. Upon learning the danger of the area, Daryl teleports them away. The 2 lovers plan a secret rendezvous point should trouble ever arise and Daryl kisses her goodbye as he goes back out in search of his comrades.

Later, in Daryl’s mansion, Volkorn’s pleads for guidance are answered in a dream. Gary and Larry in a bar, Brokeback bandits in Tor’ar Castle, Malo’s Mansion, and more. DreamKeeper Volkorn laments that he can only analyze the dreams of OTHERS and not his own. He awakes with a sense of guilt.

Upon self-reflection Volkorn decides to seek out the cadaver of the child they witnessed die. 3rd Shift officer Carl Withers happily guides Volkorn past the security doors into the holding area. They happen to pass by the cell that contains a man, face down, with a dagger protruding from his back, the handle black and curved, seems to have the texture of wood but Carl reassures Volkorn that it is made of tusk. Volkorn offers help in information gathering and then casts “speak with dead”. The cadaver invokes the name of Brokeback bandits but Carl is quick to dismiss this information as ramblings. This may be why they keep passing you over for promotion Carl. This right here. They then make it to the coroners lab where Volkorn successfully revives the boy who later reunites with his mother.

Poses are struck! Dranas is amazing! That confidence. That glow. That charisma. That gleam off his armor. Damn!k

Goliath Mudbutt?

Much shopping is done as Dranas enchants his bastard sword, Stug and Volkorn visit Wanda’s Wonders, and Daryl assists Stug at testing his new bracers. They then decide that it’s likely time to resurrect Malo and teleport back to his mansion. Zeebo quickly corrects them. They are already a day late.

Zeebo presents a finger, enough to resurrect Malo. The team has now reunited with their long dead mentor and feel despair as they have not accomplished what Malo has expected of them. They then hound him for information concerning mysteries they have long-carried. The Shield? Black Lotus? What happened to you? What next? A Lich?
Find out next time. Right here.


MP3





Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Walls and Rage, a Hammer and a Book or Swallowed Some Whole, The Earth Had Shook.

     We rejoin what's left of the ROD in the depth's of this place of Torag-worship as Dranas and Stug remain standing amongst the carnage befallen them. Stug utilizes a Life Staff on Volkorn who lay lifeless, beard full of green vomit-ichor. He immediately restores himself further via his own magic spells.

     Stug finds the other monocle in Sweet's prison pocket and the party decides to carry Sweet Chuck's body as they progress forward. Dranas hears a sound and investigates a dark area but not before donning his trusty 'ol light cap and then cautiously presses on.

     Beyond the darkened ingress, our 3 living adventurers find a wide expanse of a room that seems to have a walkway defined in it's center. The sides of this walkway are aligned with large sculptures of earth elementals, 4 on each side. At the end, a podium with a hammer sat atop it and following that, an even larger elemental statue, seemingly standing guard in it's shadow.

     The party continues further.

     Volkorn feels the unmistakable seduction of destiny as he bravely steps closer, reaches out and confidently grips the handle of this unknown weapon with his calloused dwarven hands. He knew that despite any consequences that may arise, Dranas had dared him to do it, and it was therefore, inevitable. Those consequences would soon be realized as initiatives are rolled, and all 9 statues begin to animate and it's obvious to everyone in the room; they hate Guitar Hero. It's just clickclickclickclickclick.

     Stug rages. The elementals close in. Volkorn thinks quickly and commands the party to focus on the largest foe while he erects walls to keep the mob at bay. An elemental conjures the spirit of rabbit within him and jumps to grab Volkorn. It succeeds but finds himself quickly grasping at air when Volkorn dimensional hops away. Volkorn then summons air elementals to assist and an overwhelming force from a tactically focused ROD brings the beast to his knees, and then down, on top of Dranas. The remaining enemies fall one by one until the last takes Sweets and his few possessions under the earth and effectively leaves him buried. Amongst the death and destruction caused, Volkorn discovers and acquires a book. He then drops it. Dranas quickly picks it up, dusts it off, peruses a few pages, and exclaims "this is the gospel of Torag!" Volkorn then quickly takes it back and stores it in his bag.

     Daryl awakes in the care of Ronda. He begs her for water and scrys the party immediately. Her persuasions do not go unnoticed but fail to match a debt owed that Daryl feels towards his compatriots and new family. He makes a promise to return to Ronda as Daryl teleports back into the mortal fray.

     A familiar Chromatic Red Dragon breathes fire across enemies at Volkorns command as Stug releases a volley of trips and Dranas screams for help. Teamwork wins the day as the party climbs atop Karstim who takes a brisk victory lap to celebrate the sound victory over all their foes.

     Karstim soon fosters a healthy suspicion as the behavior of his now longtime friends, feels wrong. An adoration from Volkorn that has prior-to never been hinted at, a lack of "cunt" in Dranas's speech, and the assertion that our previous goals are no longer of concern to any of them. They impress upon Daryl, after landing in the middle of town back at Sangra, that they would rather pursue dreams of working a bar in town and retire from the life of an adventurer in favor of safety and relaxation. Volkorn then shocks Daryl by imprinting on his sperm and asking for her hand in marriage. Dranas expresses a strong desire to make what is known as a "Champion Turkey". A new location for Cayden's Beard appears to be underway. Volkorn successfully transfers the soul of Nautz into a clockwork songbird just like we had planned! This is amazing!

...

     Volkorn, Dranas, and Stug use the chaos stone to scry Daryl. They find him; motionless, amongst gravel, dead.

MP3
















Monday, September 9, 2019

The Tenacious Temple Of Torag Or Death Comes To Those Who Adventure

Further! Further they descend into what once was Dwarven mines, now quickly becomes something of far greater concern. Inscriptions on the wall tell a visual tale of giant earth elementals that roam the land, worshiping Torag, "Father of Creation", a deity whom this temple bears service to. His symbol; an upside-down hammer.

The Temples walls and floors are peppered with various fissures from which delicate crystals burst forth. Crystals that glow from light refracted through the fissures, owing sources unknown (outside? or a hidden light source perhaps?). They prove brittle and worthless in coin as they crumble at light-touches like sugar.

The party is immediately descended upon as they enter. A surprise attack round greets a battle-ready party as Stug takes out his whips, Dranas emits a holy aura (the best aura ever), Daryl conjures an aqueous orb, Sweets struggles to..., and Volkorn probably did something too. The party was in good spirits as it seemed things were going to turn out pretty great!
Things would in fact, turn out, decidedly NOT great.
The first round of combat saw Stug take a fat rip of green-fog that causes him to run from battle, fleeing a hallucinatory snake in his hand, SweetChuck attempting to... , and Daryl confidently chugging a mysterious glowing potion that cost him his life, many times. As Daryl lay dying, Dranas does his best to keep him from danger and continues the offense.

Eventually Daryl is able to teleport himself to Caidens Beard. With what strength he can muster, then drags himself upstairs and gives thanks to Lady Luck or Caiden himself as Ronda finds him and takes him in. Stug returns and the other Revengers do not let up, but are met with much cumber as Volkorn finds himself mysteriously in an acidic fog and eventually succumbs to his wounds after a flurry of attacks. SweetChuck meets a similar fate as his attempts to... in battle prove fatal.

Dranas is able to finish the battle, kill the plant, and discover, then pull the lever that reveals the next area.



So, can the party restore itself to its former glory? Will they descend further? Will SweetChuck.... ?
Find out answers to these questions and more.
next time.

and remember the moisture.

MP3